Texas Governor Announces Cowboy Hat Mandate (The Truth Be With You)

by Hacker, Friday, December 11, 2020, 12:39 (784 days ago)

AUSTIN, TX—Texas Governor Greg Abbott was heard yelling, “Yee-haw!” while firing two revolvers in the air -- the traditional way to announce a new Texas law. This law is a new public safety mandate requiring all citizens to wear a cowboy hat when leaving their homes.

“This bill has been a long time coming,” said Abbott. “We need to flatten the curve of people being a bunch of Californians. That means everyone needs to wear a proper hat at all times and be a true Texan. Yee-haw!”

With this bill, anyone seen out in public without a cowboy hat will be approached by a Texas Ranger, who will say, “You ain’t from around here, are ya?” before tossing the offender across the state line.


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